An Odinary Day!
I dunno what came over me ..my love for change or a general restlessness ..I got this job offer from Jaipur and I accepted it . something which few months back, before I accepted the offer, would have been totally unacceptable ..even the thought .
I am not made for small town/city ..the slow pace kills me … not that I have a fast pace . on the contrary am too slow ..somewhat a misfit .but I guess it’s the contrast which drives me .
But here I am in a city , rooted in age old customs and traditions ..modern in infrastructure yet not free from superstitions . I don’t want to sound offensive to those who belong to this place but as an outsider and that tooa single women ..this is a hostile place.!
When I started for jaipur I kept my mind blank, keeping no expectations and very deliberately not thinking about anything …trying hard for a positive approach .
My bus reached the stand and before I could get down there were number of auto walas grabbing my bag ..kahan chlana ? idhar ayiee,…. my protest went unheard . I clearly looked an outsider . my bag was taken away , I found myself in auto . “Mansarover chalo” …”kitna loge ?” “100 rupiya(for a distance of 40 max) .. madam yahan itna hi lagta hai” !!deal was done .
.it was getting cloudy .. half way I reached …it started drizzling . I smiled to myself .. March rain .. it had to be this way. Jaipur ..”amber is in ur city ..sky !.. it had to drizzle “
I looked at the city ..my hope started diminishing , good roads , clean in general but it was clearly a small city . typical small shops , 4-5 people gathered around every shop , just gossiping . Women in pallus , people staring in my auto at the signals .. my heart started sinking . I didn’t fall in love with Jaipur in first sight …sigh , all positivism fading fast . .. tmrow will be better …I secretly prayed !
Now its three months and ma here in a rented palce .I live by myself . cooking cleaning and walking to office , TVin free time , STD calls most of the time and movies on weekend . this fills my day . still I have that restlessness . haven’t adjusted .
Life for a single women that too from metro is not easy .. everybody has perception . neighbours keep an eye on you , not that its not there in my place but here u are clearly an outsider .scrutiny is more solid. Paper planes with scribbings, pebbles …loads of them, plastic balls lie on my terrace ..haven’t spotted who is behind it or how many !I come to the terrace only when the city is sleeping .
Irritated and Running late as usual , I hurriedly walk for my office today .. its too hot , so I take a rikhshaw instead . A girl in Capri jeans, more importantly in sunglasses with messy curly hair is a unique feature . I feel hundred of eyes on me as I wait to cross the road . traffic passing by me , whitles ..”aa ja baith jaa” ,(come sit!) …..I ignore . its ritual .
I finally take the rikshaw .. 5 mins ride is a long journey here . two cyclist paddle along with my rikshaw ..same pace . smiles , I ignore , comments ..i ignore ,they come too close for comfort ..finally I look at them ..hard . they slow down !!
I reach office .
Am in lift for my office ..3rd floor ..looks like 70th floor to me . the one across me is bowled out of his mind .. he just spotted a Alien in lift . his lucky starts . he stares and stares . I stare back . My hands itch to hit him right across his cheek ..slapppppppp. I control my carnal instincts :D
Finally am in my safety zone . , work is fun, Music drowns me . its a creative fields , challenge everyday , some production every day .. brainstorming I love it … light hearted fun am completely lost . In between I chat , catch up with friends across the globe, and then its time to leave .
Evening … I walk back .
Cluthing my bag tightly I walk down the main road for my home . I keep looking back to make sure nobody drives past too closely ..hitting me from back.. comments , stares , a slopppy kiss sound from the passing scooterist ..degi kya ? (translation not allowed )I hurl a string of abuses ..he speeds away .i feel good . its all OK .
Touchwood its just another Ordinary day in here . God,save me from extra ordinary . I pray in heart as I hum a tune inside my gates , unlocking my flat .
Tmrow is another day!
I am not made for small town/city ..the slow pace kills me … not that I have a fast pace . on the contrary am too slow ..somewhat a misfit .but I guess it’s the contrast which drives me .
But here I am in a city , rooted in age old customs and traditions ..modern in infrastructure yet not free from superstitions . I don’t want to sound offensive to those who belong to this place but as an outsider and that tooa single women ..this is a hostile place.!
When I started for jaipur I kept my mind blank, keeping no expectations and very deliberately not thinking about anything …trying hard for a positive approach .
My bus reached the stand and before I could get down there were number of auto walas grabbing my bag ..kahan chlana ? idhar ayiee,…. my protest went unheard . I clearly looked an outsider . my bag was taken away , I found myself in auto . “Mansarover chalo” …”kitna loge ?” “100 rupiya(for a distance of 40 max) .. madam yahan itna hi lagta hai” !!deal was done .
.it was getting cloudy .. half way I reached …it started drizzling . I smiled to myself .. March rain .. it had to be this way. Jaipur ..”amber is in ur city ..sky !.. it had to drizzle “
I looked at the city ..my hope started diminishing , good roads , clean in general but it was clearly a small city . typical small shops , 4-5 people gathered around every shop , just gossiping . Women in pallus , people staring in my auto at the signals .. my heart started sinking . I didn’t fall in love with Jaipur in first sight …sigh , all positivism fading fast . .. tmrow will be better …I secretly prayed !
Now its three months and ma here in a rented palce .I live by myself . cooking cleaning and walking to office , TVin free time , STD calls most of the time and movies on weekend . this fills my day . still I have that restlessness . haven’t adjusted .
Life for a single women that too from metro is not easy .. everybody has perception . neighbours keep an eye on you , not that its not there in my place but here u are clearly an outsider .scrutiny is more solid. Paper planes with scribbings, pebbles …loads of them, plastic balls lie on my terrace ..haven’t spotted who is behind it or how many !I come to the terrace only when the city is sleeping .
Irritated and Running late as usual , I hurriedly walk for my office today .. its too hot , so I take a rikhshaw instead . A girl in Capri jeans, more importantly in sunglasses with messy curly hair is a unique feature . I feel hundred of eyes on me as I wait to cross the road . traffic passing by me , whitles ..”aa ja baith jaa” ,(come sit!) …..I ignore . its ritual .
I finally take the rikshaw .. 5 mins ride is a long journey here . two cyclist paddle along with my rikshaw ..same pace . smiles , I ignore , comments ..i ignore ,they come too close for comfort ..finally I look at them ..hard . they slow down !!
I reach office .
Am in lift for my office ..3rd floor ..looks like 70th floor to me . the one across me is bowled out of his mind .. he just spotted a Alien in lift . his lucky starts . he stares and stares . I stare back . My hands itch to hit him right across his cheek ..slapppppppp. I control my carnal instincts :D
Finally am in my safety zone . , work is fun, Music drowns me . its a creative fields , challenge everyday , some production every day .. brainstorming I love it … light hearted fun am completely lost . In between I chat , catch up with friends across the globe, and then its time to leave .
Evening … I walk back .
Cluthing my bag tightly I walk down the main road for my home . I keep looking back to make sure nobody drives past too closely ..hitting me from back.. comments , stares , a slopppy kiss sound from the passing scooterist ..degi kya ? (translation not allowed )I hurl a string of abuses ..he speeds away .i feel good . its all OK .
Touchwood its just another Ordinary day in here . God,save me from extra ordinary . I pray in heart as I hum a tune inside my gates , unlocking my flat .
Tmrow is another day!
posted by ambyrocks at 11:56 PM
11 Comments:
aalllleee alleee meri behnu >>:D<<
kya kya sehna pad raha hai :(...
behan q8 aajao.. apna radio start karenge...
aise jeene ki zaroorat nahi aapko..
a captivating enrty from a very creative writer. Love your writing style.
Ur art of writing is awesome!!
And u know that i always appreciate ur ways of writing! Yaar tu vapas aa jaa.....
urs "Ordinary Day" is actually "Struggling Days"
Thnaks a ton Shilps
But this "struggling " is everywhere . what i wrote here was not a comment on a city ...all cities are the same . cant forget similar incidences in my mentor city - delhi .
This struggling is actually a part of being a women .. being a indipendent working women , living on her own.
as a women i ll always face this 'ordinary' day with some variations i guess and will always have the fear of extraordinary ...!
sigh !
Hey Amby!!
U write so well..
I totally agree, be it any city, even if its your home city, struggle continues.
But u know Amby, unfortunately, cities in Northern part of the country are just plain and simple unsafe.
In Mumbai, living is a struggle, to cover a small distance is a task in itself. but even for a moment there, however late at night, I never felt unsafe.
Take Care :)
Sigh....a part of life imposed on us..struggling is good to certain extent but how good it is and how long it should be...we also need life, we also want freedom...
Stop being independent, it hasnt helped you too much. Get a good guy, marry and then raise his children and cook for your family from the safety of your house. No one will stare at you, no one will pass lewd comments.
Bade boodhon ki baatein aaj kal ke bachche maante to itni pareshaaniyon mein na padte.
This post has been removed by the author.
LOL javed ..
thanks a ton .. but u know the answer to that !
i am ready to fight odds and face thse to live a life that i prefer than to be in a safety of four walls by killing my spirit .
i dont have problem in marrying a good guy , raisng kids and cooking for my family ...but not at the cost of my individuality .
Its not a choice between this or that life .. will never be for me .. it ll be both !
BTW : where can i find a good guy who will agree to this ??? :D
oh...as a boy it's always tough to imagine how difficult can it be to live the life of a woman, that too in an ultra-conservative state of Rajasthan.
maybe u can take consolation from the fact that what u r experiencing in jaipur is just the tip. the real iceberg in inners of rajasthan is much worse.
but the flip side of ur story is u ARE living life on ur terms & (from what appears from ur blog) enjoying ur work. u know its such a simple phrase "enjoy ur work" but i get to see very few ppl who actually get to do so.
so, keep enjoying & best of luck ..
PS: pls excuse me for barging into ur blog like this, but i was trying to find smthing else on orkut when i came across threadbusters community.
PPS: pls dont chk my blog, i dont (read it as NEVER) update it.
Thanks ..sprabs .. i dont even know what ur name is !
yeah this is true ..am enjoying my work ! and that is really comforting ...i have always wanted it to be like this .. to work for what i like .. .
and yeah thanks god that am not in some interior place .but as i said before .its not jaipur that am complaining of .. i have faced similar things in delhi too .. its just a day in life of a n ordinary women staying away from home .
single unattached working women , on her own will always draw such attention ..damn !
and yeah . u r free to barge in here anytime .. its not one person's Blog .. this blog itself is a group activity . so feel free to comment .
i prefer dialogues !!..conversation .
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